Underneath Edition: I am no real September 7, 2007

I give up. I give up my ignorance, my negligence and all those stupid things I ever did. I want to stop pretending as if I’m blind or deaf, in fact I can’t, I can’t anymore, I’ve lost that ability. Yet I am still the same person, with the same character, the same personality, the way I speak hasn’t change a bit, neither do the way I treat people. What change for sure is how I view life, looking at things in different perspective. I want to be real and I want to stick with those who real. I want to keep everything real in every possible way. I really do. Because I feel so tired of forcing my mind to keep consuming lies by saying that everything I did was okay while deep inside I know it wasn’t. It never was.

And what’s really REAL is so obvious, it’s there, revealed 14 hundreds years ago.

Allah is real,
what He said in Al-Quran is real,
His promises is real,
His asma ul husna is real,
the prophet SAW is real,
death is real,
the hereafter is real,
the Judgment is real,
the heaven and the hellfire is real,
the importance of solat is real,
the purpose of hijab is real,
the qada and qadar is real.

But why it’s so hard to be real? Who’s really real?

Those who seek salvation from Allah is real,
those who fear Allah is real,
those who remember death is real,
those who patiently advice in truthful is real,
those who enjoining the righteous and forbidding the evils (amar ma’ruf nahi munkar) is real,
those who protect themselves from doing things against Allah is real,
those who do things sincerely for Allah is real,
those who love for Allah is real,
those who aren’t afraid/hesitate to be real is real.

What’s real is the truth, the righteous, the best and we all know what’s unreal is wrong, it’s fake, a lie. But why we don’t like to think for a second if we’ve been real or a pure fake? Neither did I liked to think about it. I hardly hear my friends talk about it, my lecturers, my parent, my sister, my cousins, MYSELF. Too serious maybe, unacceptable, improper or we’re just ‘too busy’. The most that we see others do/we ourselves did is to forward those emails that hardly gets ours’/our friends’ attention. Spams eh? Yet we know,

Life neglecting Allah is unreal,
running away from Allah’s commandment is unreal,
ignore the fact that doing things against Allah is not okay is unreal,
idolizing people more than the Prophet SAW is unreal,
forgetting about the Prophet SAW is unreal,
forgetting about death is unreal,
to postpone our salvation is unreal,
to feel nothing whenever sees or do evil deeds is unreal,
to seek all the world’s attention unreasonably is unreal,
to chase the world and whatever in it for the sake of pleasure is unreal,
underestimate the solat is unreal,
abandon the hijab is unreal,
people who dislike/hate girls that cover their head is unreal,
people who chase others around for their look are unreal,
boyfriend-girlfriend couple is unreal (when a man and a woman are together alone devil is the third, remember?),
ignore the fact that boyfriend-girlfriend couple is unreal is unreal,
girls and guys mixing around beyond Allah’s boundary unnecessarily is unreal (tell the believing man to lower their gaze and guide their modesty and tell the believing woman to lower their gaze and guide their modesty, that’s the boundary, sounds familiar?),
denying the fact that girls and guys can’t mix around beyond Allah’s boundary unnecessarily is unreal,
making friend for benefits is unreal,
and of course those who run away/disregard/deny/dislike/hate the real are unreal,
and those who agree with/involve in/do/like/love the unreal is unreal.

Well, maybe I heard, we actually heard but we didn’t listen or maybe we weren’t listening hard enough. But one thing for sure is we all like fun and having fun. Talking about what’s real doesn’t sounds as fun, talking about Allah seems too stern and we end up telling ourselves that it’s not like we’re gonna die tomorrow. What if we really are? What if I really am? Just because I’ve live for 21 years, 6 months and 15 days by now, does that mean I will live tomorrow? Who can guarantee that we will live tomorrow? Life, so tempting to take it for granted. We do and obey things as long as we can tolerate them, as we hear others telling us to do them, then we abandon what doesn’t feel as good or ignore what we believe to hold us back and we do things that looks appealing to us although we know, WE KNOW it’s forbidden. Who we’re trying to mess with? Who we’re really lying to? How long we want to keep lying? How long have we been fake? When will we stop lying and stop being fake? How many time left for us to keep telling lies and to be fake? We are no real. I am no real. But I hope that I can keep my heart wide open to swallow the truth, to be real, because often

IT IS NOT THE EYES THAT IS BLIND BUT THE HEART

Inside the heart, OUR heart, there’s a disease and Allah has increase the disease. That’s why

WHOMEVER ALLAH LEAVES/ALLOWS TO BE MISGUIDE CAN NEVER BE GUIDED

But luckily though,

WHOMEVER ALLAH GUIDE CAN NEVER BE MISGUIDED

Wallahu a’lam. May Allah bless me, my parent, my family, my friends, and those who believe with a pure heart to be able to see His righteous path and guide us to what’s real and help us to avoid the unreal. Amen.

Written for one of the greatest decision I ever made in my life and for some of the things that Allah has reveal to me. Inspired by Siraj Wahaj’s Friday khutbahs and talks by Yusuf Estes, recommended:

Keep it real – Siraj Wahaj
The Disease Of Heart – Siraj Wahaj
The Right Place, Time, Friends – Siraj Wahaj
Never Underestimate The Significance Of Solah – Siraj Wahaj
Heart Purification: How our hearts are affected by our actions – Yusuf Estes
Most Precious Gems (Women) – Yusuf Estes